Experiments on animals I don't understand

By Albert Hennet

It's well-known for now that by injecting fetal pig embryos with phosphorescent dyes the adult pigs will have green skin and glow in the dark. All I can say about this is: Yeah, what an excellent research! It is even difficult for me to count the number of times I needed to find my home pig in the midnight and I had to struggle to find my glasses and turn on a light. This will sure be a huge time saver for me, I can tell you, now that I can get a pig that will shine as bright as day.

My question for the scientists is whether they bothered to consult the Lord God Almighty before they did this. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Old Jehovah still own the patent for creating new life? I don't know, maybe it expired. It's a good thing that they were able to do this before they did another wasteful project like curing cancer. Cancer's been around forever, but this is the first time we've ever had glow in the dark pork and I would rather have that over cancer any darn day. Wouldn't you?

There is a real purpose for the scientists to make these unique porcines. And that purpose is to ... find their pigs in the dark, I guess. Okay, that's not the reason they gave. They said it was so that they could track medicines that could be used in human beings because pigs are often used for animal research since they are so close to human beings. I know you ladies will claim that this is only true for the half of the human race, but it really is all of us.

So, that's why the scientists say they did it, but let's face fact here: The real reason is that it's just plain fun. Wouldn't you want a pet that glowed in the dark? I sure would. And we all know that pigs make wonderful pets. Look at George Clooney. He has a Vietnamese pot bellied pig and he just loves the thing. Sure they get a might heavy as they get older, but most of us do and I would personally love a huge fat pet that made me feel skinny by comparison.

Then let's take this a step further. Say that for some reason you do get tired of your huge green glowing friend? Glowing pork chops. Mmm, mmm. That would be sort of like a candle light meal, only you wouldn't be eating your meal by candle light but by the light of the meat itself. Imagine how much more romantic that would be.

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A Healthy Eclectus Parrot

By John Savage

As the owner of an Eclectus parrot, you must be able to read the signs which tell you that your parrot is not feeling too well. You owe it to them to be able to do this.

The sign of a healthy parrot is that they are lively, sociable and alert, but if your bird is not showing these traits it is most likely that he is feeling unwell. If he seems in any way to be behaving differently, then this is a warning sign that he might be in pain, and needing urgent attention.

To tell if your Eclectus is healthy you need to look at its eyes and nose. There should be a dry nose and bright eyes, but if the nose is runny or the eyes are moist or watery then that is an unhealthy sign.

A healthy Eclectus parrot eats and drinks well. Pay attention to your Eclectus parrot. He should have a very healthy appetite. It is wise to remember that an Eclectus parrot is prone to becoming overweight, simply because he enjoys eating. Therefore, if he isn't eating, there is a problem.

The vent of a healthy parrot is always clean and dry, so if, on inspection you discover that it is not clean and dry, I would say that this is a cause for some concern, and would suggest a visit to the vet's.

A healthy Eclectus parrot grooms himself, and has smooth feathers. Overall, your parrot should have a smooth appearance. Grooming is very important to these birds, and if your Eclectus parrot appears to be disheveled, this is an indication of a problem. You may also notice that he is feather plucking, meaning that he is pulling his own feathers out. Even if the parrot is grooming himself, his feathers may not have a healthy look to them, and again, you should consult with a veterinarian.

A healthy Eclectus parrot has legs, feet, and a beak that are in good physical shape. You should check daily for dry and cracked feet, legs, and beaks. Also, make sure that you clip your bird's nails regularly, as this makes life much easier for him and for you.

You should note that most health problems that an Eclectus parrot develops stems from a diet that isn't sufficient. Often, a change in the diet to include all of the nutrients and minerals that the bird needs is all that is needed to correct the health problem.

However, having said that, let me make it clear that you should always seek the advice of a trained veterinarian if you are at all concerned about your parrots health. They have a trained eye for detecting when all is not well, and you would not be acting as a responsible Eclectus owner if you ignored them.

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